Excuses....

First of all, let me apologise. I have not been here for a while. Many of you may have assumed that this was due to the fact that between combat pilates, boxerswim and aqua squash, I have not had time to post blogs, and that I am now a lean, mean racing snake.

Um...no.

Well, firstly the good news: despite a week off (which was always planned, so don't worry) I have not returned to the giddy heights of 130kg. I am 124.8kg. Not great, but considering that last week consisted of "cake,burger,cake,pizza,cake,curry,cake,fullenglish,cake,beer,cake,tapas,caaaaake, I am actually quite surprised. Also, I have finally chucked the size 40 jeans. I am firmly in the 38 inch waist category and feelin' mighty happy about it.

The bad news is that the calorie wagon has long ago departed, and I know have to rouse my flabby arse to try and catch up with it again.

I have analysed my behaviour over the last month or so and have worked out the excuses I tell myself. I have also given myself the relevant verbal beatings that you shall see below:

 Excuse 1: It's been a stressful day/week/solar age

Well yes. I do a stressful job, and the long suffering other half has had the NHS equivalent of OFSTED visiting recently, which has caused much therapeutic baking and for Domino's to develop a weird telepathy whereby the pizza guy turns up on our doorstep before we place the order. I have always said from the start that I would not cut out tasty goodness, but it becomes very easy to class every day as "stressful" and suddenly 5 nights out of 7 you end up surrounded by pizza boxes watching Murder She Wrote. Again. So, treat nights are limited again to 1 per week.

Excuse 2: But I'm on niiiiights

I have to say, having not done a night shift for a few months, it does come as a bit of a shock to the system. And sleeping during the day, you are not always in the mood for ryvita with dust at 5 in the morning in the snow. One thing the last few shifts have taught me is that I DO need something solid to eat in the early hours. I wish I was one of these people who could get by on a cup of lukewarm water and a banana, but it just ain't me, ya dig? So....warm, wholesome healthy food is the order of the day. Or night. Whatev's.

Excuse 3: I really don't fancy my soup/other life giving food.

Man up, princess

Excuse 4: I am too tired to go to the gym/it's too much effort.

THE GYM IS LITERALLY OVER THERE. LOOK: TURN YOUR HEAD RIGHT A BIT AND YOU CAN SEE IT. GET OFF YOUR FLABBY POSTERIOR, PRIVATE!

So, my dear friends, if you see any whingeing, laziness or generalised apathy from me, you have my permission to beat me furiously with a large stick. I know I can count on you.